It's (not) about the politics...

The political world has become about so many things that have nothing to do with politics, but the most important one is hate.

For a very long time now, I have followed (mostly national) politics almost as closely as I follow sports. However, unlike my penchant for spouting my sports-related opinions in the public square, I have mostly used retweets of other people’s takes as a stand-in for my own personal beliefs.

The main reason for that is fear. Fear that I might trigger the wrong person on the wrong day and they might attack me, either physically (I’m not hard to find) or in some other way (that could involve my family).

That being said, you’ve got to draw a line in the sand somewhere. You can’t let things slip away out of fear. That’s how the bullies win, by making the fight so exhausting that you give up fighting for the things you actually believe in.

So, today…let’s talk (not) politics.

A Shift in Politics

The funny thing is, I was already a fan of the political horse race before Donald Trump was a politician. I liked the back and forth on policy issues. I liked watching each party try to balance conservatism (to keep the older generation in-house) with progressive ideals (to try and rope in the younger generations), and I relished in watching the two major parties attempt to find the perfect messenger for their message.

Ask me what my political beliefs are and I’ll tell you, especially a decade ago, that I am not a monolith. I’m definitely on the left, but that doesn’t mean I hand my vote over to the Democratic party to do with what they please. I read through ballot measures, propositions, and all of the information that I can gather on candidates before voting (this goes for the local elections, especially).

That, to me, is politics. The stuff below is….something different. Something more sinister. But we’ll get to that in a second…

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I would label myself as something like “center left”. Progressive with a belief in guardrails. Idealistic and realistic at the same time.

And here’s where I tell you a little bit about my wife. She is a registered Republican, but she would’ve probably labeled herself as “center right” when such a term still existed. She is also idealistic and realistic at the same time. For years, we have joked about forming a third political party (called “The Reasonable Party”) for the people that want a better life but understand that it’s not always as attainable as voting yes on a ballot measure.

As you might imagine, she has grown away from her political party. Or, rather, her party has moved away from her. It has been taken over by Donald Trump and anyone that is willing to pay fealty to Donald Trump. It has, in my opinion, turned into more of a cult without substance than a collection of people with conservative ideals.

In addition to watching my wife lose her party, I have spent our years together surprising people with the information that we are different (politically). Because, at some point, it became not okay to socialize with people who were different from you (politically). Every single person that I have ever told this to has been shocked, but it is always followed by them saying, “You don’t see couples with different political opinions anymore!”

And that usually leads to me telling them that I enjoy political discourse, as does my wife. I tell them about our first few dates, how we’d be sitting in a nice restaurant, arguing about the merits of the electoral college while we drank wine and ate cheese. Without fail, it leads to a frustration with the lack of political discourse.

Why can’t people with political differences sit down and have a conversation about those differences anymore? Where did our country go so wrong?

I promise I'm not writing all of this out because I am trying to say that I am better than you or anyone else. I’m writing it to make a point. I should probably make it soon before you get bored:

Politics is not about politics anymore

It doesn’t matter which candidate has the better economic plan or foreign policy. We’re so far past which candidate can capture your imagination and convince you that they’re just like you, and therefore looking out for you and your family.

And, yes, Donald Trump is partially to blame. He has copied the example of dictators, but you know that already. He has copied the example of Joseph McCarthy, who arguably would’ve been President if he could only avoid drinking himself to death.

I have, for years, avoided putting a sign up in my front yard telling the world which candidate I support. There still isn’t one there and there likely won’t be. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because of my own personal fear. I don’t want to be hated. I don’t want my relationship with my neighbors to change. I don’t want to upset the apple cart. I just want to have a normal political environment again.

Politics, especially at a national level, has become about hate and love. That’s it. That’s the whole decision. Do you hate everyone or can you find it in your heart to love strangers that you will never know?

The Politics of Hate

Do you hate women? Well, this is the election for you. Not only can you vote against a woman, you can vote for the guy who brags about sexually assaulting women. The guy who brags about taking away a woman’s right to make her own decisions about her own body. The guy who openly cheats on his wives and fantasizes about dating his own daughter.

Do you hate non-white people? Only one of the presidential candidates is promising to deport millions of non-white people out of the country, even those that are here legally. Why? Because they have skin that is a different color. Because they weren’t born here, even if their children or grandchildren were. Outside of this policy being unnecessarily cruel and racist, it would also crash the US economy!

What about women without children? They’re the worst of the worst, according to Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance. He has referred to childless women as “valueless” in our society. He even went so far to say that all female teachers should have children of their own, a truly insane job requirement that shows exactly how much autonomy Vance thinks women should be afforded.

Oh right, the Vice President! People will tell you that the Vice President doesn’t matter. They don’t affect how people vote and their job is pretty pointless. And that might be true, but it’s certainly a lot less true when the candidate running to be President is 78 years old and appears to be losing his mind. For the record, JD Vance has been in public office for less than two years and is in no way qualified to lead a country, to say nothing of the vile bigotry that comes out of his mouth every time he speaks.

There’s that election denial thing too. Both Trump and Vance have now publicly stated that they believe Trump won the free and fair presidential election against Joe Biden in 2020. They believe that the Democrats worked with some (imaginary) secret dark forces to ensure that the election went to Joe Biden instead. They believe that democracy ended four years ago, which is why they don’t feel compelled to play by the same rules the country has been governed by for nearly 250 years. And it’s why they don’t hide the fact that they are supportive of the people who broke into the Capitol and attempted to overturn the results of the 2020 election.

Oh, right. Politics! We have some hate for that, too. Trump has stated that people from the Democratic party, some of them he’s actually mentioned by name, should lose their rights. They should be hunted down by the United States Armed Forces, a truly horrifying thought.

And, trust me, I could go on and on and on and on, all day long. I could tell you how their campaign is based on making you so fearful, so hateful, that the only person you could possibly trust…the only person you could possibly vote for….is the guy who is running a campaign built on fear and hate. He hates the people that you’re afraid of and he’s promising to get rid of them, or at least strip them of their rights.

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An Apology of Representation

Now, let me get to the reason I felt like writing this today. I sent in my mail-in ballot a few days ago. The “I voted” sticker is prominent displayed on my laptop. I received the text from state’s Secretary of State to let me know that my vote has been received and counted. I thought all of that would make me feel a little better, but…

I did not just fall out of a coconut tree. I exist in the context of all in which I live and what came before me. In some ways, as a middle-aged white guy in America, that makes me feel like a representative for some really bad stuff. And I feel like apologizing on behalf of whoever wants to stand with me.

I’m sorry to women in America. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to live in this country in 2024. Your rights are not only being taken from you, rights that many of you have lived with for decades and decades, but whether or not you should have those rights has become a question of political fodder instead of basic human decency….104 years after you fought for, and earned, the right to have a vote equal to that of a man.

I love, and have loved, a lot of women. My daughter, my mother, my wife, my sister, my grandmothers, my cousins, my aunts, my friends…I truly love them all. Even if they are not perfect, they are not lesser. They are human beings and they deserve to be treated like every of American.

I’m sorry to the non-whites in America. First off, sorry for grouping y’all together. It was done for the sake of brevity, not for a lack of care. If you want to dive deeper, you can find plenty of racism from the Trump campaign aimed at Asian people, Latinx communities, Native American groups and black people. They’re not very discerning.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised by the callousness of a regime that employs some of the most openly racist people imaginable, but I am. The idea that millions of Americans will be hunted down by the military and then deported feels dystopian, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a very real possibility and a very real fear. You deserve to feel safe and welcome in your home, especially if you have gone through all of the bullshit necessary to get here legally. You should not be treated like second-class citizens, much less non-citizens.

I’m sorry to the LGBTQ+ community. They hate you. They hate you more than they hate women. You’re worse than the ‘childless cat ladies’ to them. In their eyes, you are a disease that needs to be purged from the country before infecting our children.

The thing I find funny about generalizations like this one, or any of the ones I am referencing above, is how it takes the humanity out of the picture. I know people in each of these communities. Ask me about them and I will tell you simply: They are normal people! They have jobs. They pay bills. They walk their dogs and binge Netflix. They have anxiety and sleepless nights. They are just trying to do the best the can, the same as you or me.

If the best they can do looks different than the best I can do, who cares? I’ve gotten into golf in the last few years and one of my favorite phrases that I’ve stolen from the sport is “swing your swing”. It’s one of the most understanding phrases ever. The way you swing your golf club might not work for me, and visa versa. Everyone is different and not everyone has to do things the same way, even if they’re aiming for the same results.

And just because someone does something differently than you do doesn’t mean they are actually different than you.

Honestly, I’m sorry to the whole country. Unless Kamala wins in a landslide, I am going to have real concerns about what percentage of this country is motivated entirely by fear and hate. What percentage of the people in this country hate women or non-whites or the LGBTQ+ community or Democrats so much that literally nothing else matters except for hurting those people.

It’s not a pie. It’s not finite. If someone else has success, it doesn’t leave less opportunity for you. And I promise you can’t find success by deporting people or taking away the rights of those that you fear most.

So vote with your heart, not with your hate. Consider the possibility that the other people walking into that voting booth are more like you than you’ve previously realized. They have similar lives, similar concerns and similar goals. They’re just trying to do their best, not let their loved ones down, with hopes of making it to a comfortable retirement. If you vote to take their rights away, maybe next time someone will be voting to take away yours.

In 2028, maybe we’ll start The Reasonable Party. And the party slogan can be “Swing your swing”. Until then, the choice feels like an easy one to me.