Life, love and loss: A baseball thing

The Padres lost to the Dodgers. Loss is not fun but it is an important part of any journey, especially in sports.

My life has been built around sports for as long as I can remember. My earliest childhood memories are either of me playing sports (with friends or little league) or watching sports with my dad, either in person or on TV. I am a “sports guy”.

But my fascination with things outside of my own life experiences has led me often to conversations with people who don’t attend, watch or follow sporting events. My brother is one of these people, surprisingly enough.

I am always curious how people can go through their whole life without lending an ounce of their attention or energy towards sports. Some might say I’m jealous, but I don’t think that’s right. Either way, these people inevitably ask me the inverse of the question that I have for them when they say, “What is it about sports that you find so appealing?”

And, for someone that feels sports fandom as a part of their DNA, that’s a weird question to come to grips with. It makes you question an action that feels natural, almost instinctual.

Ask me when I was happiest in my childhood and I’ll tell you it’s when I was watching the NFL on Sundays with my dad, uncles and grandfather. Ask me when the best part of my 20s were and I’ll probably tell you stories that start at Padres games or watching sports in a bar with friends.

And, while it will never surpass my wedding day or the day my daughter was born, one of the most important nights of my life involved walking out of Petco Park in 2022, giggling about the Padres sending the Dodgers home in the playoffs.

Now, it’s two years later and the Dodgers are the ones sending the Padres home from the playoffs. A Padres team that felt magical. A team that had its fans wondering (out loud!) if you can tell a team is going to win a championship before they do. A team of destiny!

That should be a crushing blow. And, in some ways, it is. But it’s moments like these….when you’re walking out of a stadium wondering if you’ll ever feel this good again or when you’re turning off the TV and wondering how many days until baseball starts again….this is where I find my answer to the question “What is it about sports that you find so appealing?”

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I’m not the most emotional person. This has been a common complaint of some family members and past girlfriends. My highs are not that high and my lows are not that low. Maybe I’m too cautious to touch either end of that spectrum on my own, but sports can get me there.

Nothing else in the world can make me scream with joy, dance with glee or pump my fist like I just won the damn lottery. Also, nothing else in the world makes me so enraged or brings me to the verge of tears quite like a heartbreaking defeat. It would seem out of character if you didn’t know that I’ve been like this my whole life.

When someone asks me what I like about sports, I sometimes tell them that I find it to be a good way to exercise my emotions. Without it, I fear I would never reach those highs or those lows.

And that brings us to today, waking up after the Padres lost to the Dodgers. Waking up to a world where the Padres offense that had become so dependable simply disappeared for however many innings (I know it’s 20something but I don’t feel like looking it up, which flies in the face of my previous statement about appreciating both ends of the emotional spectrum).

I know it’s cliche to say “the sweet is never as sweet without the sour”, but it’s true. If your team won every game and every championship, it wouldn’t make you a happier sports fan. It wouldn’t make the experience any more enjoyable. It would arguably make it less enjoyable, the way that certain college football teams are expected to win every game and, therefore, can’t enjoy any of them. They’re simply running from the eventuality of losing a game, of not living up to expectations. That’s not fun, that’s fear. And, honestly, that’s the world the Dodgers are living in right now.

Two years ago, the Padres “slayed the dragon” when they beat the Dodgers in the playoffs. This year, the dragon fought back. It happens. And it’s what makes all future battles between these two teams more interesting, less predictable, and more worth investing real emotions into.

Life without failure isn’t a life worth living. Nothing is gained or learned without failure first. If you’re a depressed Padres fan today, try to remember that. This is partially why you watch and why you hand your emotions over to this group of men playing a game that is equal parts skill and chance. It’s not always fun, but the lows beget the highs and there’s no other way to get there and appreciate it properly.

Life with failure is one that appreciates success. And the success is sweeter having felt it, just like beating the Dodgers in 2022 was sweeter after so many years of being the “little brother” of the rivalry.

Life includes literally everything that we know and care about. And, whether lived enjoying or avoiding failure, life will always end (I’m ignoring that immortal jellyfish for the moment, just stick with me). You might as well life it to its fullest. For me, that means occasionally waking up with a sadness from the sports game the night before. And that means that I honestly, truly felt something that I wouldn’t have otherwise experienced. And, sometimes, that has to be enough.

It’s 122 days until the start of Spring Training, by the way. Go Padres.